Keep that schoolmarm from perusing your porn with this USB-powered CD destroyer from Brando. In just five seconds, this hungry beast renders any CD or DVD unreadable, grinding in devastating circular scratches and resulting in a strangely beautiful coaster that reminds us of a Spirograph.
It even includes a leather case for destroying CDs on the go. Sure beats breaking up a CD into little pieces, resulting in glass-like shards that might actually be able to draw blood.
Believe it or not, some desperate dweebs rummage around in the trash looking for things like old CDs and DVDs, hoping that perhaps a bit of financial data might have been carelessly left on board. If you keep such data on removable medias, this mutha might be worth a $29 investment. -Charlie White