Are you smart enough for the third grade
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he has to go back to the first-grade. The teacher had agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions!" The principal and Harry both agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer....)
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide again... he was looking restless...)
Harry: "Shake hands."
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Who am I??
Harry: "A Tent."
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." What am I?? (The principal was looking restless again and a bit tense...)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good." What am I??
Harry: "A Nose."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver." What am I??
Harry: "An Arrow."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."